is it worth it?

I sometimes feel like giving up, I poured my heart and what little money I've earned into music. I think 'why do I do it?' I ain't earning a living out of it. I've done charity gigs, I have worked in cover bands but this never pays for the time and devotion I seem obsessed with.

But then I think, what little I have achieved meant something to a few people in my life. My Father always told me take a callous look on life, yet when he talked to me about his worries of having cancer I felt his fear. I can't take a callous look on my life as I am still learning and I can't switch off my emotions. My Father always said I have a talent with music and should stick with it, parents can be supportive when you really need it.

It's just hard sometimes when I sit in this little flat just outside of Newcastle, England to feel positive. A year ago I was attacked by a gang of youths, there were 15 arrests but only 4 got properly charged. I was lucky that the CCTV cameras caught the footage. I now live a paranoid existence, I feel out of place and out of time. Why is there no support for people who want to be creative and fight off the demons of the past? I want to entertain and share my passion. I don't ask for much, just the freedom to get through my problems and work on my dreams.

Why do I do what I do? The answer is because it is part of who I am. I love music and music makes me feel good. The day I lose hope is the day that I can't class myself as a human being anymore.

Flash Mp3 Player

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Insomnia

I can't sleep, the moon is my friend and the silence is my discomfort.
Thoughts seem more intense in the bitter quiet of the night.
I need to see the sun again, I need to break the peace.
I want to bang rhythms so the whole world can hear.
Sun so bright with fluctuating light,
Why must I be a child of the night?

Tonefish76

Blue Peter Time: Build Your Own Moog

If you find yourself with too much time on your hands then why not try this project. It is a cut out 'Moog Modular' synthesizer. Unfortunately it doesn't actually play but it looks nice.

• STEP 1: Click the link below to get your template. The file needs to be unzipped using winzip or winrar. You will need Adobe Acrobat Reader to open the contained file as it is in PDF format.

Click to download Moog template zip

• STEP 2: Print out template on to card and cut out.


• STEP 3: Fold the templates and glue flaps together. You may need an adult to help you with this (I know I did, it's very tricky).
  

Hopefully you should now have your very own cardboard Moog and all your friends will be very jealous. It should look like the image above of the one I made earlier in true 'Blue Peter' Fashion.

Alchemists of Sound

I just want to take time out to mention a very influential person to my music and my approach to making it. She is Delia Derbyshire who worked for the 'BBC Radiophonic Workshop' in the 1960s. She never really got the credit she deserved for her creative work within the workshop.
In the early 1960s before the invention of the synthesizer and sampler, she created music and sound effects from tiny pieces of magnetic tape. This music was used in television and radio. The workshop created sounds people had never heard before.
By playing sounds back at different speeds she could create different notes and these could be pieced together in long tape loops. Mixing these tape loops played on multiple synchronized tape players, created futuristic sounds that still sound fantastic to this day. An example of her work is the original 'Doctor Who' theme, and she worked on a project called 'White Noise' that created the classic album 'Electric Storm'. Delia passed away on July 3rd 2001 in Northampton, England.
Unfortunately the BBC in their infinite wisdom closed down 'Room 13' which was used by the workshop. Now all that remains is miles and miles of tape loops and an archive of some of the most creative music ever made.

Into The Mind Farm MP3

I have added a new track to the mp3 list at top of page, it's the first track in the media player, 'Into the Mind Farm'. It also happens to be the first track on my 'Sea Sponge Music - Soundscape of a Modern Myth' demo I recorded at the height of my depression back in 2004. I never sent this demo anywhere as I thought it was too self indulgent and strange. I may release the whole thing as a download in the future.

'Into the Mind Farm' was the track that started the whole albums concept after a dream about a field of brains cultivated by spiders. I must have consumed too much cheese and wine that night. It sparked off the 'Brain Spider' idea and the cover art below.

I like the piano sound in this track as it sounds like it is under water. I achieved this by running it through a rotary speaker which is usually found on a Hammond organ. This is an idea inspired by the 'Pink Floyd at Pompeii' concert in which Rick Wright did this.

Mp3 Player Update

Just a quick message about the mp3 list, I have replaced it with a media player as I will be adding more tracks. I think it is an improvement as I can post more tracks a lot easier without filling the blog page.

Just pick the mp3 track you want from the menu list and click play. Please feel free to leave a comment below if you have any problems playing the songs.

Back soon.
Tonefish

Ode to a Spider

Another friendly household spider exploring the strange landscape that is my sitting room. I wonder what he thinks of me as I stand here watching him cautiously. Maybe he's scared of me? I don't feel threatened by him but because he is so alien in shape and form I feel some sort of discomfort. He is only different but so am I to him, I think I will leave him be and get on with my own business.


Tonefish76

Random Curve Art

I'm a bit of an insomniac at times and this picture is the product of a long night. I created it on a computer, drawing with the mouse line by line. It takes a while but it's very therapeutic.

Often when I'm sitting with a notepad trying to write a song I end up doodling. The little curves and shapes in the image are an idea that came from a night I decided to try and draw a fractal. I do seem to end up doing very strange things when my brain is tired.

Syd Barrett Poem

Hip To Confusion
Dandelion hair, staring at a dream dragon,
Playing a game on the road to stardom,
A vacant look, an open book,
Hip to confusion, misunderstood,
Awoken in a constant dream,
You walked away not to be seen,
Illustrious king in a spiral vision,
Split between the perfect fusion.

by Tonefish76
for Syd Barrett 1946-2006

A Colourful Journey Heading Nowhere

The title of my new demo album is to be 'A colourful journey heading nowhere'. I have used this title before when I was 17 years old and did a bizarre demo on a Tascam 4 track recorder. I always thought it was a good title and would use it for a better project in the future. I can be quite indecisive and may change it at any point, but for the moment it will be my working title as I find inspiration comes easier with a title for direction.

I've just noticed the picture to the right looks like I'm turning into Sonic the hedgehog.

Techno-phobia

I must be cursed, a few months ago my laptop died and I recently tried to save the data on the hard drive by connecting it to my desktop PC. Thought this was a great idea until my motherboard fried, things just don't seem to last any more. I am now using a PC I built over 7 years ago and 'touch wood' it works fine.

I have compared the printed circuit boards of older and newer computers and the amount of soldering used is pathetic on modern computers: any slight over-heating and capacitors and resistors can fall off and damage other circuits. It's the same for modern televisions, the lack of solder means they last only a couple of years if you're lucky while older 'solid-state' televisions are running fine after 20 years.

I do realise if companies build things to last then they won't make as much money. I would like NASA to build me a computer. Just look at Voyager 1 - it's still beaming back information 30 years down the line after travelling 9 billion miles.

The Lost Track MP3

Lost Track (found in mp3 list at top of page)

Just today I found a demo CD that I forgot completely about, it was recorded in October 2001. I do believe it's the first track I recorded after my Father's death. I used the M-Tron Mellotron emulator which gives the 'Beatles' flute sound. It's not a great track but it brings back fond memories, I was just learning about sampling techniques and tape manipulation at the time. Everyone has got to start somewhere.